3 things which go wrong in “LOVE”

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This is my first article for this blog and I have been wondering for quite some time on what would be an appropriate topic for my very first article. After putting in a lot of thought into this, I came up with this topic – ‘3 things which go wrong in LOVE’.
Okay, well “What is love?”
I wish I could define it for you. I feel you can love a person for a lifetime and still feel you had never loved that person or maybe you can fall for a person at the very first sight and cherish that person forever. Love is a feeling without any particular definition, unless you want to know what the Wikipedia says about it. The meaning of love can vary from person to person and from perception to perception. But one thing is for sure, every human has experienced love in one of its many forms. Before shaking your head in denial, just answer one question- don’t you love your family or your best buddy? In this article we’ll be discussing love romantically. It might help those in love, to understand their relationship better and for those who are still searching; well these are the 3 tips which might come in handy in the future.

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Expectation is a very common word used in our day to day life. Anticipation from oneself or somebody else is basically termed as an expectation. It’s said that “It is human nature to expect”. In any relationship from family to friends to lovers, expectations are always there. We even expect certain things from ourselves. We expect different things from different people depending on the position they hold in our life. Higher the position; greater the expectation. And the best part is that we expect that those people stand up to our expectations. Did you ever give it a thought- Whenever you sit down and think what went wrong in your relationship, the first thing that crops up is expectation; maybe I expected a lot; maybe the difference in our expectations has brought us here… But then we say, we are humans and we have the right to expect. And we keep exercising this right until nothing is left in the relationship. Undoubtedly it is hard not to look forward to somebody. But at some point of time, haven’t you felt suffocated by fulfilling someone else’s expectations? Does your mom love you to fulfill your expectations? Do you think that your dad stands by you when you are in trouble, to live up to your expectations? You don’t expect the obvious. Expectations come into the scenario when you are not sure whether the other person’s act would give you happiness. It is easy to expect, difficult to fulfill expectations and burdensome to live with the pain that you have failed to live up to someone’s expectations. The more you would love your partner the more you’ll realize that you both can stay happy and keep each other happy only if you expect nothing from each other. It would be hard initially. But eventually you’ll start feeling the difference. The things which bothered you before won’t seem to matter now. The number of fights would reduce drastically. Most of the fights of the past would become a topic to be laughed at. Love without expectations is love with understanding. The less you expect; the more room you create for understanding each other. Shedding your expectations would remove a lot of burden from your relationship. And as a matter of fact, you expect the least from the person you love the most because you have faith that that person can never do you wrong.

Friendship is the best thing in the world. As it is said, “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” If you can’t find a friend in your lover, then there would be a lot of problems in your relationship. A friend never judges you, makes you laugh in your sorrows by reminding you how stupid you look when you are upset, parties with you through the night when you succeed and above all, you can always count on your true friend. You can share anything with your friend without giving it a second thought and you are the most comfortable with your best buddy. Today one of the many reasons for failures in relationships and marriages is the lack of friendship. Friendship is and always shall be the first step to love. When you are friends with the love of your life, you can be your self and you would know that your partner would appreciate it, however good, bad, stupid or intelligent you are. Above all there is a very big advantage of befriending your lover- in friendship there are a lot of things which we just ignore, we don’t mind making little adjustments for our friends, there are a lot of circumstances in which we just forgive our friends and forget that such a thing ever happened. In a relationship all these things become over-exaggerated- ignorance is considered as indifference, adjustments become sacrifices and the feeling of forgiveness does exist but forgetting about it- Nah!! So, do try to find a friend in your partner.

This is something which has the power to break even the strongest relationship. “Hiding the truth” is very different from disloyalty or infidelity, if that is what you are thinking of. Infidelity is indeed a major reason why relationships fall apart but here I won’t be talking about it because it is very obvious that if you cheat on your partner the relationship is bound to end. I am talking about those situations when we feel that hiding the truth from our partner would be better than confronting our partner in order to avoid the pain. There is a very famous saying, “Love is like a glass. If u break it, it’s hard to fix, and even if you manage that, it will never be the same.” Truth has its way of coming out some day or the other. If you love a person enough, have the courage to be honest to him/her with every thing. Trust is very hard to earn. Considering the worst case scenario – If you feel that you are losing interest in your partner and instead of confronting him/her you rather hide it so that your partner does not get hurt, it’s not a good option. You will end up suffocating yourself because you’ll keep feeling guilty of not being able to tell the truth, thus you’ll not be able to keep your partner happy and you’ll end up hurting your partner more. Just remember love can’t be forced upon. If at any point of time you feel that maybe things are not flowery enough and you don’t feel the love, instead of hiding it, share it with your partner. Yes your partner would be hurt but maybe you both can find a solution to it. And if the solution is parting ways, then also it is for the best. It’s better to hurt your partner with the truth now rather than hiding the truth and then later when the truth comes out, leaving your partner shattered. However painful the truth may be, hiding it with the thought that it would be better for the relationship, is just a temporary escape. Some day, at some time, the truth would become a realization and it is indeed very hard to escape from a realization.
I would like to conclude with a beautiful saying- “In love as well as in life- It’s always too early to give up, but never too late to start.”