Control Your Anger Before it Controls You!

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Emotion- is what differentiates us from other living beings. Animals can express their feelings like joy, sorrow, love, and anger. Human being, considered as a higher animal, we express each of the emotion. Anger as any other emotion is expressed when our mind is not satisfied. There is nothing wrong in getting angry. It is the primitive response which prevents us by being dominated and manipulated by others. This natural process somehow motivates us to put fourth our views without hesitation. However, anger is one such emotion which should be controlled. It should not be suppressed all the time because anger is the kind of a feeling which grows harmful if bottled up. It may be the early signs of violent behavior. Talking more scientifically, as per Tristan Loo, anger induces fight or flight response in the brain increasing adrenaline level in the blood stream. Defend or Attack is the conclusion of anger which is not always productive in good negotiation. Stress, anxiety, emotional or physical pain, drugs, alcohol, daily events, etc can trigger anger.

“For every minute you’re angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness,” –Ralph Waldo Emerson. As mentioned by Ralph W. Emerson, we lose lively moments of our life being angry. Therefore, there is a need to control anger for maintaining healthy relationships, personal as well as professional. Anger management is a process in which a person is open to new ideas, optimistic and is able to direct or mobilize his or her anger in a positive direction. The focus is on the specific behavior that triggered the anger and on the present situation. The most valuable tool we have for managing anger is self-control. One way to imprint the benefits of anger management is to look at the ways you react to anger. How do you feel after you have vented your anger? We rarely are rewarded for reacting to anger; instead, we usually end up paying for the consequences. Responding to anger takes practice, but keeping the benefits of anger management in mind makes it much easier to practice. Anger management can be a valuable tool that can be used to solve problems and make a positive change during tough teenage years and it is a tool that lasts a lifetime. Managing anger effectively results in an increased energy level, effective communication skills, strengthened relationships, improved physical and mental health and improved self- esteem and display of greater self -control.

According to Jeanne Segal, 4 tips to Anger Management are:

Anger Management

1) Explore what is really behind your anger: Anger cannot exist without reason. Thus, one must be aware of the facts which tend to make him or her angry. We must realize that real emotion behind angry feelings. Cheating, or deteriorating one views, etc can be the reasons behind anger. Hence, it is important to know whether we are really angry or hiding other emotions such as love and hatred. For example, parents often tend to get angry on their kids, this is mostly because they love and care for their kids. On the other hand, having a long time dissatisfied relationship can trigger anger as it provokes hatred.

2) Be aware of your anger warning signs and triggers: Anger is accompanied by bodily changes. We must be aware of physical signs of getting angry. Being aware of these triggers can help to tackle it before it worsens. Knots in your stomach, clenching your hands or jaw, feeling clammy or flushed, breathing faster, headaches, pacing or needing to walk around, having trouble concentrating, pounding heart, tensing your shoulders are some of the signs you need to be aware of. One must take the responsibility for what happens to him or herself and should not blame others for the same. Also, instead of finding ways for being upset, one can be happy and enjoy the moments of life and be optimistic.

3) Learn ways to cool down: The simple way of dealing with anger is to just CHILLOUT, i.e.

Communicate: Express your feelings in a constructive way

Harness: Keep calm and slow down

Isolate: Keep away the source of anger and take measures to reduce it

Let go: Forget and let go the destructive past experiences

Learn: Learn new problem solving skills

Organize: Organize the plan of action before getting angry

Understand: Be aware of the consequences of an anger outburst

Think: This is the common fact we should be aware of. Think before you speak and act.

4) Find healthier ways to express your anger: Relationship is what makes a man’s life joyful. Therefore, in any argument, maintaining the relationship must be the priority. Sticking to the past will make no difference. Instead, one must focus on the present and act. Forgive and forget should be the attitude of a person. Holding on to the grudges will bring negative thoughts and can prevent self-development. If an argument is going nowhere, one must disengage and move on.

As anger can be powerful, managing it is sometimes challenging. It takes plenty of self-awareness and self control to manage angry feelings and these skills take time to develop. Most people know that they can and should handle their anger in a healthier manner but many of us don’t really have the tools for doing so. Anger is something we all need to deal with, whether it is our anger or the anger being expressed by someone we are with.

Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.” – Horace

  • siddharth

    Awesome..much helfull