Learn the art of forgiving

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Life is too short to hold grudges. Nobody is perfect and everyone ends up making mistakes at one point of time or another. Unfortunately, we expect people to behave in a certain way, to live their lives as we want them to. But that’s not how it works. We are not perfect, and we can’t expect anybody else to be either. That’s just not fair. So what we need to really do is understand and be patient if somebody around us does commit a mistake, and give him/her a chance to rectify it. Everybody deserves one chance, if not more. Is it not said that behave with others the way you want them to behave with you?

Whenever something unfortunate happens half the times we end up blaming somebody else for the mistakes that they never even committed. Our tendency to presume things without really getting to the depth of the problem is what makes us accuse people incorrectly. And being the egoistic breed that we are, half of the times we don’t even care to clarify some major issues with the person involved, and instead seem fixated on believing that we did the right thing. And hence we start acting differently and holding a grudge just because of the fact that we are too proud to clarify things face to face and go to great lengths to avoid any sort of confrontations. Relationships take a long time and a lot of effort to build up to what they are today, but holding them together is not always that easy. So don’t rush into making decisions, be rational and make it a point to always simplify things. It may lead to a heated argument but more often than not it might just spell out things very easily.
For the other half of it, people do actually make mistakes. Saying that nobody makes mistakes will be a completely untrue statement. Life is not defined or measured by the number of mistakes we make, but by what we learn from each mistake of ours. Life is all about how we rectify our various blunders. Learn and evolve, that is the formula of life. We keep making mistakes every day, sometimes we rectify them, usually we ignore them, just so many times we try to hide them from the rest of the world, and sometimes we refuse to accept them. No matter what happens but something that we desperately look for is for one chance to make things good again. But when people around us make mistakes, we are much less generous and a lot less forgiving. We sometimes want things which are too perfect to be true. Holding grudges, seeking revenge and the works – this is what we get ourselves into. Now ask yourself who does all this benefit? My guess is nobody. But we will still do it, again and again.

So come on, let us all us take a step back and think for a second. Whenever someone makes a mistake that affects you in some way or the other, think of all the things he / she has ever done to make your life better too. That is what I try to do and believe me it works perfectly for me and has made my life a lot less chaotic. When your friend forgets your birthday, don’t pretend to forget his in order to get revenge. Instead think of all the times he has taken time out from his schedule and has been there with you at all your previous birthdays, how his presence made them so much more special. When your wife says something that does not sound good to you, you should think about how much she cares for you and how she wants nothing but the best for you. When your employee messes up some part of his work, don’t go all ballistic on him and instead make him realize his mistakes and give him a chance to improve, with a little encouragement he definitely will.

Think about all the mistakes you have made throughout your life, think of how each one of them has contributed in making you what you are today. Think of all the second chances you got in life which helped you thrive and ended up making you a better and improved version of your earlier self. How can you deny someone of the same? Think about it. Remember the time when you were probably just an intern, trying to learn the ropes of the trade. Think of all the times your supervisors overlooked your mistakes and took out time to make you understand things well. Pay it forward!
It takes a lot less to forgive people and move on with positivity than to punish them for their mistakes and hold on to all the baggage which that kind of negativity brings along with it. Forgiving does not reflect weakness, or casualness, instead it is a sign of being mature and responsible. I agree it may not seem so simple to do, it may not even look unreasonable at times, and you may end up thinking that this is not fair. But trust me on this that this is the right thing to do.Fighting with someone over a little matter may be okay for some time after but a few years down the line you will regret it. And we all know that life is too short to live with regrets.
Like it is said “laugh freely, forgive easily and never regret anything that made you smile!” – think about it, isn’t this a great formula to live by? Why should we waste our time dealing with such stressful issues that are bound to bind us down? Introspect today!