Let Go of the Blame Game

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‘I couldn’t complete my work in time because I did not have enough time’ ‘I couldn’t score well because my professor didn’t check my paper properly’ ‘It was not my fault, it was her fault’ ‘I could have got the promotion had he not used unfair means to get ahead’ and the list goes on and on. We, as human beings, have a tendency of blaming those around us for our own shortcomings. What is really surprising is the fact that we usually use ‘I’ when we succeed but end up using the terms ‘him, her, you’ when we fail. This is mainly because, in our own headspace, we are too good to commit mistakes. We hold too high a position of our self in our own eyes that we completely ignore all those times when we have been wrong.

We accept success gladly, sometimes with a tad bit more pride than required, without even acknowledging all those who contributed in some way or the other to make sure we reach where we are stand. But, alas, we are sour losers. Rarely will you see someone saying ‘it was entirely my fault. I am responsible for this and I will rectify it’. This is where we make our biggest mistake. This is how, unknowingly though, we stand in our own way and we hamper our own chances of growing and being successful and, most importantly, being good human beings.

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The first step in solving any problem is to acknowledge it and accept it with open arms. If you are not willing to accept it, rectification will be a distant dream. So as the first step, we need to start seeing things with a different, broader and much more open-minded perspective. Start to analyze things more rationally and more realistically. Be humble and see where you went wrong. If you think you have a difficulty understanding it, take the help of someone who is close enough to not lie to you just to make you feel good.

Remember that asking for help will not mean a dent in your self-pride. Seeing things from someone else’s perspective almost always helps because we become so accustomed to own line of sight. What you basically need is an unbiased view about things, about yourself. Don’t be shy while accepting your faults, instead be confident enough and accept them proudly and gracefully. Always remember that there is no success without failure, and admitting that you made a mistake is never a sign of weakness but a sign of sheer strength which reflects your clarity of thought and your resolve to become better in life. It also reflects a sense of maturity and responsibility in you considering the fact that you are ready to own up to your problems.

I’ve recently encountered a lot of people who like to play the blame game. They never want to take the responsibly for anything and they are always looking for a way out by blaming something or someone. From what I have seen, such people are rarely successful. Especially in the long run. They are never able to visualize, let alone reach their full potential. They end up developing the nasty habit of taking the easy way out and in the entire process they lose the motivation to work hard, they lack the push which tells one to excel every single day. I do agree that accepting your fault can get you into trouble on various occasions; it may even cause you to lose your job if something you screw up something of high importance. But here’s the deal – you will never lose the willingness to learn and will surely improve with every passing day. Remember the saying that one’s attitude in life, determines his / her altitude.

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And you know in the entire game of blame being passed around its usually the most honest and sincere employee that ends up bearing the brunt. Imagine just how unfair things become for such a person – who worked hard and as efficiently as possible, made no mistake but was still given all the blame just because the one responsible didn’t have the courage to accept it. I mean, how unfair and almost inhuman that is! If nothing else, a sense of self respect should motivate us to stand up and accept all our mistakes loud and clear. Right?

Sure its not a fair world that we live in and at one point or the other we have to make tough choices with the unethical choice almost always resulting in much more gain. But here the question is also of your peace of mind. Ask yourself, will you be able to sleep well at night knowing that someone else is bearing the harsh consequences of the mistake you committed? Doesn’t sound too good, even hypothetically right? Imagine how much worse the actual feeling would be!
The key to avoiding such conflicts is to keep oneself motivated. No goal is impossible to reach; no task is difficult enough if you have the right approach and the right attitude in life.

Endeavour to grow into someone who is not only willing to accept his / her mistakes but is also willing to rectify them as soon as possible. Accepting the mistake is half the job done. The other half is to rectify it and promising yourself that you will not commit the same mistake again. And then living up to that promise. Learning from your mistakes and inculcating those learnings in your actions is what leads to success. Once you start doing this, you’ll realize that with every mistake you correct, you come back stronger and better.

At the end of day, remember this – be the kind of person your parents raised you to be.