Let people commit their own mistakes

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Nobody is perfect, not us, not anybody else around us. But it is the will to learn and improve with time is what keeps us going. We often feel the need to protect our near and dear ones and we do everything in our power to make sure they have it easy in life, easier than what we had to go through. Now while this is a pure reflection of our unconditional care towards them, it may at times prove to be the one thing that stops them from growing and improving in life. This is what we shouldn’t let happen and this is what this article is all about.

Whether it is our younger sibling or our son / daughter, we try to be protective about them and we try to keep them out of harm’s way for as long as possible. What we don’t realize is that in this process we end up creating a protective bubble around them which restricts them from exploring the world around them on their own. They end up becoming weak and soft in life, weaker than what they might have been had they not grown in such an over protective environment.

The world is a difficult place to survive in. Life definitely isn’t a bed of roses, the sooner we realize that the better it will be for us and especially for the ones we care about. No matter how much you protect your child or your sibling or even your friend, ultimately he / she will have to face the hardships of life on her own. There is no other way out. The theory ‘survival of the fittest’ still holds true to every word and so you have to be strong if you want to survive and pass the tests of life. The longer you hold on and control the lives of the people you love, the harder it will get for them when their bubble breaks. So don’t create a scenario where they have to learn things the hard way, make it simpler for them by letting go of them one step at a time.
Let them commit their own mistakes. Even if you know that what they are doing isn’t the most appropriate way of doing something, and even if you know that this road will probably lead to a failure for them, do not interrupt them. A good piece of advice is harmless but don’t try anything more than that. Let them commit this mistake. Let them understand what they did wrong and what the impact of it was. It is important for them to see things from a different light, with a different perspective, and not how you want them to see things. They have to learn owning up their decisions, accepting their mistakes, figuring out alternatives / solutions, and learning to not repeat the same mistakes again. It is a cycle which everybody needs to go through, the earlier it starts the better it will be for them. Like it is so aptly said, ‘you can walk the path with someone but not for someone’.

I have often seen parents who discourage their children from going to a different state or a different country for pursuing their career, not because of financial reasons but just because of the fact that they want to protect their children and because they worry too much about them to let them go. As a result what happens is that the children are not able to explore their full potential, they are deprived of the kind of exposure that is required if you have to work in this dynamic competitive world and they are never able to cope up with their competition who is ‘ready to face the world’. I agree that you as parents have no bad intentions and you would want nothing but the best for your child, but trust me this is not the right way for that. By engaging in such a behavior you are restricting your child from doing well in this world and you are unknowingly making things too difficult for him / her. If you really want to help them and want them to excel in life then make them ready to take on this world and face all the challenges that come their way. Let them fall and get back up, don’t always be there to catch them. Care for sure but don’t make it too obvious. Take a backseat in their life and help them in a subtle manner by keeping them on the right track with a little push here and there. Stop spoon feeding and stop poking your nose in everything they do! Give them some freedom; let them have more responsibilities on their shoulder and let them handle it in their own way. This will not only help them become better but will also make them more confident in facing similar situations in the future as well.

What we are today is a reflection of every moment we have spent in our past, everything we have learned in our journey of life. We cannot change our past (the technology hasn’t advanced to that level yet!), but we can surely work on our present to ensure a better future for us. So start working on it today. I know it will be hard for you at first but I assure you that you will not regret it in the end. Let your loved ones grow; break the protective bubble you have created for them before it is too late. Watch them learn, help them learn, and be the support that they need, when they need. No need for overdoing things! Always remember that the more we fall, the more are the chances of us rising back stronger. There is no success without failure; there is no good without bad.