I do, maybe

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Relationships are the  building blocks of our lives. They make us who we are by instilling emotions and beliefs like no other bond. The relationship can be the one shared with a mother, a sibling or a dear friend. Most of our life goes by trying to achieve career goals in order to secure that perfect job. Career drive is of utmost importance but so are the bonds that help us get through the hard times of life.

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Similarly, marriage or a relationship with a partner has it’s deep rooted influence on us. We all aspire to have the perfectly happy ending just like in fairy tales. But, many of us fail to understand that, that kind of happiness can only be achieved by immense hard work and patience. Nurturing a relationship is like nurturing a child. We want it to flourish and grow stronger each passing day. So, before walking down the aisle and saying “I do”, it is best to understand if you are ready for the responsibilities that accompany it.

In today’s world, most weddings end in divorces and although many claim otherwise, the fault usually lies on both sides. So how can we be sure that ours will have a different fate than the many broken marriages? The only thing that guarantees that is faith. Faith in yourself and your spouse.

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Patience is the key. You will have to be patient with your partner, even at times when you know your partner is making a mistake, you will have to grit your teeth and explain with care how he or she is making a mistake. To all of us screaming and fighting comes naturally, but every rude word that is uttered only takes a chip away from the foundation of love that you share. And gradually with time the entire foundation disappears even before you realise its gone. So be patient, even when you think you can’t, even when you are tired after a hard day at work. Because you know you love your husband, so you have to learn to love him even with his daemons.

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Care for the other person. Care and love and affection are three things which can erode anger and hatred. Call your partner when he is late, but not to yell at him for being late, but just to make sure that he is fine and that he is missed. It is perfectly normal to take some time off for both of you and spend that doing your own things, like spending time with your individual friends and pursuing your hobbies. Remember, you have to be mentally satisfied with yourself, to have a happy life and to better care for each other. Too much of anything is not good, so do not try to make his life and friends yours, that will gradually suffocate you both. At the same time do not completely deviate from each other.

Communication is another aspect of relationships that people underestimate. It is essential to talk and share your feelings and the details of your life that he does not know about. It only helps the other person to understand you better. But make sure to talk and laugh like friends, because yes if you can put in that amount of effort you can fix most of the problems of your life. Be a friend and not only a wife or husband. That way when your relationship goes through a hard time, you can talk about it like two different individuals with your individual beliefs. Communicate instead of blaming or fighting, it will benefit your relationship.

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Sex and making love is still considered as a taboo in many countries and nationalities. Due to conservative reasons, it is often considered as a bad thing. Because of this very reason, people tend to undermine the importance of this aspect in married life. However, making love is not a vulgar or negative aspect as it is portrayed in many entertainment zones. It actually helps you get closer to your partner. Cuddling and snuggling are also important. Just because you have been married for years does not mean you are too old to enjoy either. You are an individual with your personal needs and it is normal to want it.

Ego is a curse. Ego is a vice that will ruin any relationship, whether it be with your parents, siblings or friends. So please do not make your own life worse by giving way to ego and ruining a perfect relationship. Many of us have lived with egoistic people and we know exactly how bad it is, and how a simple situation can be magnified to a great issue just because someone’s ego got into the way.

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Most important thing to remember is that a little cooperation, compromise and patience on both sides can take a relationship to an amazing extent. Just hold on to every second and try to be happy with each whenever you are together, because every second of our life makes us who we really are. A relationship is a full time job so set your expectations accordingly.